We often refer to "things we didn't get to" on the show. We literally ran out of time. Here are the Things We Didn't Get To on Friday:
TAKING "I'M WITH STUPID" TO THE NEXT LEVEL . . . . . .
(http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/09/28/earlyshow/main2046897.shtml?source=RSSattr=U.S._2046897)
Some parents are becoming upset after discovering that their sweet, innocent little teenagers have taken to wearing t-shirts with sexually suggestive messages like, "Spank me, it's my birthday." While we would never condone wearing a shirt with an inappropriate message, we can think of worse slogans to wear on a t-shirt, like:
- "Two margaritas and this shirt comes off!"
- "Future Hooters waitress"
- "My boyfriend sent me this shirt from jail."
- "I got my looks and my credit cards from my Dad"
- "Property of The Hell's Angels"
- "Stick around. I'm desperate and you could be lucky"
- "Poster girl for juvenile detention"
- "My other car is the back of a Harley"
- - - - - - -
THE BEST OF AMISH BAND NAMES . . . . . . .
- Mordecai and the Butter-Churners
- Motley Barnraising
- Smashing Bonnets
- The Mighty Mighty Slow Buggies
- The Absolutely Non-Electric Light Orchestra
- Big Audio Mennonite
- Toad the Wet Bonnet
- Rage Against the Mennonites
- Barn-raisin' Daddies
- The Notorious "A" Mish
- Skankin Molasses
- Bare Naked Plowing
- Buttermilk Boys
- Boogy Woogy Buggies
- Shapeless Black Dresses
- - - - - -
THINGS A WOMAN CAN'T DO (THE SHORT LIST) . . . . .
- Know anything about a car except its color
- Go 24 hours without making a phone call
- Lift
- Throw
- Run
- Park
- Drive
- Read a map
- Sit still
- Tell a good joke
- Get told off without crying
- Walk right past a shoe shop
- Not comment on a stranger's clothes
- Like your friends
- Get to the point
- Take less than 20 minutes in the restroom
- Sit in a room for five minutes without saying "I'm cold"
- Go shopping without buying something on sale
- Assemble furniture
- Not try and change you
- Watch a war film
- Buy a purse and actually like it
- Choose a video quickly
THINGS A MAN CAN'T DO (THE COMPLETE LIST) .....
- Anything without a remote
- Anything without a beer
- Anything without standing around staring at it for an hour or two first
Sunday, October 01, 2006
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